Here in the U.S., July is Disability Pride Month! This July, we find ourselves in a situation that’s far from celebratory. Both the U.S. and the U.K. are on the verge of passing legislation that would make cuts to the healthcare programs and benefits that many disabled people rely on. It’s clearer than ever that the people in power see disabled people as disposable and not deserving of respect. In the years since I’ve started making these posts, visibility for disabled people (and this pride month) has seen a small increase (in my experience) yet continues to be left behind in feminism. And I’m still on the hunt for any kind of media that accurately represents my own disability (sensory processing disorder), and I know many disabled people have had similar experiences. But that’s no reason to give up. It’s no reason to stop writing, to stop reading, and to stop listening to the lived experiences of disabled people. We cannot be erased with legislation—we will always be here, and we’re sticking around no matter what.
So here is another list of some of the best books with disabled representation that I’ve read in the past year! I’ve included books from all age ranges (middle grade to adult) and genres that represent a multitude of disabilities.
NOTE: my memory (and the internet) is imperfect, so if I’ve misrepresented/mislabeled any of the specific rep in these books, don’t hesitate to let me know!
*I’ve arbitrarily included Being Ace in the science fiction section, but it includes several genres, many of which fall under sci-fi/fantasy. It could theoretically go in all three fiction categories in this post.
TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! Have you read any of these books, and if so, did you enjoy them? What are some of your favorite books with disability rep? Let me know in the comments!
Today’s song:
That’s it for this recommendations list! Have a wonderful rest of your day, and take care of yourselves!
Happy Tuesday, bibliophiles, and happy Disability Pride Month! I’ll have something up for the occasion later this week, but for now, here’s the first book review of the month.
I’ve had this novel on my TBR for a few years. I read Alaya Dawn Johnson’s Trouble the Saints several years ago and remembered it being on the denser side, so I was hesitant going into this novel, especially with the low ratings on both Goodreads and Storygraph. I understand those ratings now—this book is not for the faint of heart, but it was also victim to some serious mismarketing, in my opinion. It’s a sprawling novel that hops between worlds and genres, and despite its flaws, it’s one of the most ambitious novels I’ve read in a while.
Centuries ago, tesseract technology made travel and connection across the stars. Now, in the Library, where all of the tesseracts are held and all of the political machinations go on, Freida spends her childhood wandering amongst all kinds of strange magic and technology. She was artificially created by the Library, and has access to all of its texts. But as she grows older, she begins to understand the corruption deep within the Library. Her friends face persecution from all sides, both from mortal people and the gods beyond their reach. To save them, she must dig deeper than she’s ever ventured into the Library—and what she finds there could change her life.
TW/CW: genocide, loss of loved ones, sexual assault, colonialism/imperialism, violence
Right off the bat, let me just say: this is truly a weird book. For the most part, I mean that affectionately. It’s weirder than most YA I’ve read, and even weirder than some adult books. It’s also one of the more ambitious books I’ve read in quite some time. Straddling the line between hard sci-fi and full-blown fantasy, The Library of Broken Worlds is an ambitious—if not incredibly messy—novel.
I’ll start off by saying this: The Library of Broken Worlds really shouldn’t have been YA. Even though Freida is about 17 here, all of the concepts jammed in here really don’t feel like they should be for the 12-18 crowd. That might just be another consequence of 12-18 being a ridiculous jump in maturity for a single age range, but I digress. There are a lot of aspects that feel more well-suited for the more adult crowd. You sit in on a lot of court hearings, the politics get both deeply philosophical and intricate, and you’re dunked into the worldbuilding like one might be dunked face-first into a bucket of ice water. I think you can still work with a teenage character in an adult story (see: The Fifth Season), so I feel like it wouldn’t be much of an adjustment. As voracious of a reader as I was when I was in the peak market for YA books, I feel like I would’ve DNF’d this book in my teens. But that’s not to say that I didn’t love The Library of Broken Worlds. Had it been adjusted for an older audience, I think it might have been more successful—if not in marketing than anything else.
The case of the worldbuilding in The Library of Broken Worlds is a complicated one. It’s both the biggest strength and the biggest weakness of the novel. The worldbuilding itselfis marvelous—what I could get of it. This novel is such a unique blend of sci-fi and fantasy. You have a Library as the central hub to travel to other parts of the galaxy, and the main characters is an artificially-created being created by the will of the Library itself. There’s lots of intergalactic folktales, extinct alien civilizations, a triad of nature gods that preside over the universe and form the basic divisions between its people, and a ton of worms and grubs. Gotta love the grubs. There’s a lot of ’em. The world is also refreshingly queernormative, with a variety of characters with different neopronouns and a young sapphic couple at the forefront of the story. In the acknowledgements, Johnson said that Studio Ghibli and Hayao Miyazaki were the biggest inspirations for the book. The comparison didn’t fully make sense to me, but in a way, I can see that the blend of sci-fi and fantasy, along with some of the more imagery, could feel like a darker, more convoluted version of Miyazaki. It’s such a lovingly created and multilayered world—I just wish we could’ve explored more of it.
Now, let’s go back to that word, convoluted, because it applies to…well, everything. I often talk about how writers often have the issue of vomiting all of their worldbuilding in chunks that distract from the story. This book has the exact opposite problem. From the start, you’re thrown headfirst into an exceedingly complex and convoluted world, expecting to know all of the terms and political divisions as they’re thrown about every which way. It felt like the scene from The Big Lebowski where The Dude is repeatedly getting his head dunked into the toilet (“WHERE’S THE MONEY, LEBOWSKI?”), but each time, you get a face full of completely wild fantasy terms that only get the most barebones explanations. By the time you’re sort of acclimated to the world and you think you’re getting a break, somebody’s pissing on your rug that really pulled the room together (more unexplained worldbuilding out of nowhere that overcomplicates things further). I still don’t fully know what a “broonie” is, and at this point I’m too afraid to ask. This book was in desperate need of a glossary, Jesus Christ. And a lot more exposition, as well as less convoluted and all-over-the-place explanations for what little was explained beyond the basics.
The characters in The Library of Broken Worlds were also a treat to explore! I wish we got more of some of the side characters, since there were so many, but it was Frieda’s story first and foremost. Though some parts of her were underdeveloped, Frieda was a solid protagonist; although she almost falls into a very typical mold of the YA protagonist whose life is out of her control and is different from the others (and is understandably angsty about it), these things are for reasons that are fully fleshed-out—the weight on her shoulder never feels manufactured, and the way that Johnson writes her trauma, from various sources, was very sensitive. I don’t think we got enough of Joshua (he’s almost forgotten about halfway through and only comes back in the last few bits of the climax), but I did like Nergüi’s coldness and eventual insightfulness as a counter to Frieda’s passion and hunger for knowledge.
There are some fascinating themes, political and otherwise, at play in The Library of Broken Worlds. In an attempt to be more utopian, the main government has built its government and legal system on the basis of freedom from and freedom to, and the discussion surrounding that, especially where those definitions get dangerously misused (justifying planetwide colonialism and genocide). Johnson didn’t shy away from getting into a ton of moral dilemmas. However, aside from that theme, I loved how The Library of Broken Worlds handles cycles. Simply by existing counter to her original purpose, Freida is breaking a cycle of her sisters being created for a specific purpose, and embracing empathy and love. But by doing that, she is also breaking a multitude of other cycles—the personal cycles of being traumatized and taking it out on others, and the vast, historical cycles of injustice and mass cruelty. The tesseracts also felt a bit like the interconnectedness of actions as well as events throughout history, and Freida exists at the confluence of it, making her able to fully see how she is able to reshape both her destiny and the unjust system that she lives under. As rocky and convoluted of a road Johnson takes us to get there, I appreciate that it was taken in the first place, because the payoff was mostly worth it in the end.
For most of what I just detailed, I nearly gave The Library of Broken Worlds the full 4 stars. But given the state of the book, I just…couldn’t. For all of its boundless creativity, timely themes, and observant insights, this novel was just a mess. I think this could’ve been the second-to-last draft before sending it off to the publisher, because as good as it was, the writing was all over the place. You’re unceremoniously thrust into the worldbuilding, and the only reason that I ended up acclimating (and even that’s a stretch) to everything was that this novel is nearly 450 pages long. It desperately needed more exposition, as well as clearer explanations of the key terms that come into play throughout the novel. The pacing was off—though I enjoyed the explorations of politics that Johnson employed throughout, I think we could’ve spent more time getting to know the world and less time sitting in space congressional hearings. There were a multitude of loose ends that didn’t fully get tied up. I guess that’s a consequence of such an expansive world, but The Library of Broken Worlds needed some serious refinement. I don’t normally find myself saying this, but give this book 50 more pages and a glossary, and I think some of these issues could be fixed.
All in all, an expansive piece of sci-fi/fantasy with highly commendable worldbuilding and themes, but which needed more page time and another round of edits to fully achieve its purpose. 3.75 stars!
The Library of Broken Worlds is a standalone novel, but Alaya Dawn Johnson is also the author of several novels for teens and adults, including Trouble the Saints, Love is the Drug, Moonshine, Racing the Dark, and The Summer Prince.
Today’s song:
That’s it for this week’s Book Review Tuesday! Have a wonderful rest of your day, and take care of yourselves!
Insert panicking about how 2025 is already halfway gone, yada yada yada. It’s always jarring to get to that point after you’ve spent the first half of it relatively unaware, but honestly? Given the truly magnificent shitshow 2025 has been…good riddance.
Let’s begin, shall we?
GENERAL THOUGHTS:
My school got out jarringly early, which was nice, but part of me is still reckoning with the fact that “summer” has now expanded to fit all but the first week of May in it. I shouldn’t complain. It’s given me a lot of extra time to read and do all of the things that I lamented not being able to do while I was in school. I picked back up with guitar lessons, started improving my knitting, listened to several amazing albums (while knitting), and honed down my drawing. It’s all I can do to keep the anxiety/boredom-depression that starts threatening to consume everything once I get too into a routine, but I’ve got a part-time job, so I’m throwing as much as I can at my brain to keep it occupied.
And Jesus, it’s hard to keep it occupied. Nothing’s changed since my last wrap-up, and my constant state of teetering over the edge of snapping thanks to the news is ever-present, especially this month (FUCK TRUMP AND GET ICE OFF OUR STREETS). There’s nothing like being on vacation and appreciating the splendor that Colorado’s public lands provide us with and then seeing that a bunch of senators wanted to sell off millions of acres of that “undeveloped land”. At least they’re not quite as on that anymore, though I urge everyone to keep the pressure on them, because there are far too many issues that they’re either exacerbating or ignoring. But especially during Pride Month, I have to remind myself that taking care of myself and giving back to my community is an act of resistance, especially as a queer, neurodivergent person, because a) the government doesn’t want us to exist (because why else would THEY SHUT DOWN THE LGBTQ+ SUICIDE HOTLINE? Inexcusable, comically mustache-twirling, depraved evil right there), and b) they want us to be over-individualistic so that we ignore what connects all of us.
But it hasn’t been all freaking out, I promise. I went on a lovely road trip to Crested Butte with my family, and I spent a week up in the mountains looking at so many wonderful wildflowers. Getting back to both my family and my hobbies has made me more centered—the foundation is still wobbly (because of…everything), but I can always count on them to keep me grounded and keep me in the present. I found solace in my community during Pride Month, though I didn’t end up going to any of the local parades because of either plans or the heat. (Denver, I love you, but I’m not standing out in 90+ degree heat. I’m here and I’m queer, but I’m also really pale and don’t want to get excessively sweaty or sunburned.) My existence is an act of resistance, and as much as I can, I will use it for good.
If anything, it’s at least good to have a summer where I actually have movies to look forward to (definitely Superman, and I’m on the fence about Fantastic Four, but I’ll see it, if only for Cousin Thing). Y’all…The Phoenician Scheme. It’s so beautiful, dude. Wes Anderson is physically incapable of making a bad movie. Go see it. GO SEE IT.
Also, I managed to knit my first functional thing in mid-June…here’s this bag I finished up before my vacation!
My magnum opus. Obviously. I’m now keeping a paused knitting project in it, so I hope it’s not one of those “gingerbread man living in a gingerbread house completely oblivious to the fact that he lives in a house of his own flesh” situation. I try not to think about it.
MAY READING WRAP-UP:
I read 13 books this month! In an absolute whiplash of ratings, I had two DNFs and two 5-star reads this month, but between them, there were some great reads. Surprisingly, the nonfiction books (both of which had red covers, coincidentally) were the stars this month!
I read 16 books this month! Even with my part-time job, summer has given me more time to read, which is always welcome. Although there were some misses in the mix, I had a great bunch of (mostly) queer reads for pride month, both from familiar and new authors!
This week: Becky Chambers double-dipping, offloading my gripes about the train wreck that was season 4 of Hacks, and…oh, whoops, I think this post was supposed to be about music. My bad.
“They’re back!” I say, having not even listened to a full Big Thief album. This kind of thing sure does happen a lot, huh?
Regardless of whether or not I’ll listen to Double Infinity when it comes out this September or after I’ve finally gotten around to Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You, “Incomprehensible” is a treasure in the here and now. The production is an absolute treat. It’s a far cry from some of their older, more folkier material, but never once does it feel removed from their emotional core. It glistens like dew, icy and starry yet tender and inviting, encircling, even. Guitars glitter and bubble next to the papery percussion. Adrianne Lenker’s voice drifts gently in their fabricated ether, but never once does it distract from the true star of the show: the lyrics, man, these lyrics! Lenker has truly honed her talent for poetic lyricism, and her beautiful messaging and penchant for lush turns of phrase are on full display here. Here’s a snippet:
“In two days, it’s my birthday/And I’ll be 33/That doesn’t really matter next to eternity/But I like a double number, and I like an odd one too/And everything I see from now on will be something new.”
What’s the music equivalent of that “absolute cinema” meme of Martin Scorsese? This deserves it, I think, if not just for that verse. “Incomprehensible” is a heartfelt ode to being free—not just driving down an endless road, as North American highways are wont to make you feel, but being free from societal pressures. I might be ascribing my love to it because it came to me at a time like this, where I am putting all of my energy in being free of expectations and embracing being as weird as possible, but in any other time, “Incomprehensible” would be a pleasure. Intertwined with imagery of nature—rolling clouds, birds, lupine flowers, and the glittering scales of fish—this freedom to just be is fully realized as a natural state: flowers grow and clouds form without any pressure that we have man-made, save for natural ones necessarily for survival. They don’t have the expectations on women to make them dread aging or conform to a certain look, to mourn every hair as it turns gray. The further we are from nature, the closer we get to these false ideals that we’ve fabricated for ourselves. I could go on about the myriad ways about how we could learn from nature, but the lesson in “Incomprehensible” is one of many: if we pay attention more to nature, we realize that all of these societal pressures are just that, constructs; to be more natural is to live free of expectations of what should be and to simply be.
…AND A BOOK TO GO WITH IT:
Monk and Robot – Becky Chambers – “And as silver as the rainbow scales that shimmer purple blue/How can beauty that is living be anything but true?”
I’m not like other girls…I didn’t even know the main reason that most people know this song is because Phish frequently covers it. Oof. I did discover it, as I tend to discover random, obscure ’60s and ’70s songs, through Hacks.
Can we talk about Hacks, by the way? Specifically, how gloriously they fucked up what was one of the longest consistent runs of a good comedy show? They had such a wonderful thing going—the sharp humor, the chemistry between Hannah Einbender and Jean Smart, and the excellent bisexual representation. Season 4 really just threw every single one of those things out the window. I’m still so mad. They were so sensitive and respectful about depicting bisexuality and biphobia, then boom…they proceed to throw the laziest possible stereotype about bisexuality at Ava. She goes from having heartfelt conversations about her identity with Deborah to being thrown into a threesome for reasons that neither furthered the plot nor said anything new about her as a character. At least the resolution was that the other two in the threesome were a chill polyamorous couple who didn’t want to be used for sex, which I appreciated (what with there being hardly any respectful depictions of polyamory anywhere), BUT WHY THE HELL WAS THAT NECESSARY? WHY DID THEY HAVE TO THROW IN THE “I’m in a threesome…supa bi!” LINE??? WHAT POSSESSED THE SHOWRUNNERS TO DO A COMPLETE 1-80 FROM THOUGHTFUL, AUTHENTIC DEPICTIONS OF BISEXUALITY TO WHATEVER STEREOTYPES THEY COULD HIT FIRST ON A DARTBOARD????
Sorry. Had to get that off my chest. Moving on…
As much as I love Hacks, they tend to have an issue with their needle-drops. In most cases, it’s a 30 second snippet from the song in question, and it’s usually shown over an aerial shot of whatever city they’re driving into—usually Las Vegas or Los Angeles. A few times is fine, but…yeah, it’s a little old. Given the absolute gold that was both the scene and the needle drop of “I Won’t Tell” in season 3, I knew they were at least capable of something more. In the case of “Yamar,” it’s in between the two; played at the intro of season 4, episode 6, it’s a small snippet that plays over a shot of Ava wrangling a comically large bundle of birthday balloons.
Though the editing was smooth, “Yamar” was all but hacked (no pun intended) to pieces—they only have about three lines from the verse before they get to the chorus. Which is really a disservice, because this is such a relentlessly catchy gem from the ’70s! My music taste is…well, yeah, it’s very much on the Western side. So I’m always glad when I find a piece of non-Western music that absolutely grabs me. I think the common denominator is the ’70s, regardless of the region it’s from. Even though the lyrics belie a somber reminiscence of looking for the unspoken point of leaving childhood behind and getting older, “Yamar” has an unfailing gallop that signals nothing but joy. That grainy, ’70s production strangely does everything in this song a service, giving the pianos a warm sheen and softening the rapid percussion, like the sun-bleaching of an old photo. It’s hard for me to feel anything but joy from this song, and maybe that could somehow be the point: dancing in defiance of having to grow older.
…AND A BOOK TO GO WITH IT:
Ocean’s Godori – Elaine U. Cho – Reconciling with childhood and a skewed sense of identity, but all with a dose of hope and joy.
It’s once again Tunde Time here on the Bookish Mutant.
I haven’t necessarily come back to a lot of Thee Black Boltz, even though I retain that it’s a great album. Somewhat regrettably, it’s the singles that I’ve mainly been returning to, but at least they were well-picked singles, I suppose? I’d say that “Ate the Moon” and “The Most” were great surprises, but singles like this, “Magnetic,” and “God Knows” are the reigning highlights. Yet “Somebody New” still surprises me in how much I actually like it—even for Tunde Adebimpe. Autotune and a more directly pop direction aren’t directions that typically work for indie rockers like him, but it works. The autotune doesn’t make his voice shinier or more polished—it just distorts it, adding another layer of synth to the synth-pop that this song is soaked in. There’s plenty of ’80s throwback in the sound, from the video production to the synths, but never does it feel like a song meant to vomit up nostalgia—it’s just another in the long line of foolproof methods that Adebimpe has employed that make a song instantly danceable. Along with the delightful music video, in which Adebimpe has a Lego Batman moment with a Yo Gabba Gabba creature, “Somebody New” is one of the best examples of when somebody outside of the pop sphere takes a stab at a pop song—and knocks it out of the park.
BONUS: Here’s his recent performance on the Tonight Show:
…AND A BOOK TO GO WITH IT:
The Stars Too Fondly – Emily Hamilton – “I just wanna be somebody new/Is there nothing in the world that we can say about this/Heavenly vibration coming through?/How can we feed this love?”
It’s been about two and a half years since the Palehound Panic that shook the world this blog (alive and well) and my beat-up headphones (rest in peace). Although El Kempner isn’t dominating my Apple Music replay anymore, they’re always a delight to come back to, no matter the era. “Psycho Speak” returned unexpectedly, a cut from their debut EP, Bent Nail. Scrappy encapsulates so much of this barely three-minute-long song: the more indie production of their early days, the verging on out-of-breath delivery of the lyrics, and the cymbal-dominated percussion. Like the EP’s title and album cover, “Psycho Speak” evokes worn-down houses and dirty sidewalks, baseball bats dragged through the dirt. Kempner wasn’t quite at the level of precision that they have on their later songs, but “Psycho Speak” is a song that begs to be a little rough around the edges, fragmented like the end of the song: the final lyric of “I went downstairs and curled up with the cat” feels like a sentence fragment, leaving something unsaid. In fact, this track is built entirely off of things unsaid, in this tale of dating a rich man who leaves intermittently and for long periods, but who takes comfort in the company of his pets. Or maybe it’s that simple of a tale—the tiniest peephole into a story.
…AND A BOOK TO GO WITH IT:
The Resisters – Gish Jen – the atmosphere of this novel, though much bleaker, has a very similar scrappy attitude and feel to it, especially where the younger characters are concerned.
The buzz around “You Are A Tourist” probably eclipses the song itself; its music video, a Meow Wolf-esque spectacle of kaleidoscopic lights, dancers outfitted in feathers, and geometric backdrops, was the first scripted music video in history to be shot in a single take. Given the impeccably elaborate choreography of it all, it’s honestly astounding. But even before I knew anything about the video or the fact that this song was one of their more popular ones, “You Are A Tourist” captivated me. The melody and arrangement feel so cyclical for me—from the loop at the beginning to the way that the instruments seem to circle each other, as though they were layered in concentric train tracks. And though it’s adjacent to the “I’m in my ’20s and angsty and need to get out of this town” format, as always, Ben Gibbard’s lyricism are what separates it from the rest. Of course, the “And if you feel just like a tourist/In the city you were born” instantly grabs me, but it feels less like a statement of purpose and more of a guidebook for those looking to start over and strike out on their own, a soothing, steady hand on your shoulder in the face of turbulent emotions, a kind of prayer against stagnation.
Happy Tuesday, bibliophiles! I’m back from my road trip with a fantastic book for you.
I try to stick to mostly queer books for June, but I read extra queerly all year…think of this as pregaming for Disability Pride Month. (Both apply to me, I get a pass, right? Hell, it’s my blog and I’ll do what I like.) Nevertheless, I bought Life Hacks for a Little Alien while on vacation (shoutout to Townie Books in Crested Butte). I’d heard great reviews of it, particularly that it encapsulated neurodivergent childhood beautifully, so of course I had to read it. What I found was a heartstring-pulling and tender depiction of neurodivergent childhood.
In England, a young girl grows up not knowing that she’s neurodivergent, but certain that she’s different from the other children. She doesn’t talk or think the way they do, and her parents are having trouble keeping up with her. She never shows any interest in much anything, but when insomnia prompts her to watch TV at night, she discovers a documentary on the Voynich Manuscript. Soon, the mysterious manuscript heightens her curiosity and invigorates her life. The only thing that would make it better is to find the Manuscript itself—and she’s determined to get it in her hands and decipher its impossible code.
I have once again been ensnared by a book with metaphors about aliens relating to neurodivergent. It will happen again.
I’ll absolutely be reading more by Alice Franklin after this, because her writing style captivated me from the start! The first comparison that sprang to mind, strangely, was of Wes Anderson. It feels odd to jump from literature to film, but stay with me. The narrator’s voice is very matter-of-fact and particular, which are qualities than can be ascribed to both very self-assured children and comically self-assured Wes Anderson characters. The linguistic footnotes and reading lists at the end of each chapter were also reminiscent of the wry judgements of Anderson’s omniscient narrators. All of this is to say that Life Hacks for a Little Alien boasted such a charming voice. Second person POV is a notoriously difficult POV to write from; Franklin chose it for the book because she found it personally easier to write and thought that it would help the reader have empathy for the protagonist. I think it would’ve been easy to have empathy for the narrator no matter what, but the use of the second person gave Life Hacks for a Little Alien such a unique flavor. As the narrator tried to pick apart the structures of how a young English girl is supposed to act, she was methodical, but in a way that was always witty, snarky, or charming. Yet that voice, when faced with the harsher realities of neurodivergent life, never faltered in its emotional connection. I was invested in the narrator’s story from the start, and from then on, Franklin kept me hooked!
Although I’m not autistic, I am neurodivergent (I have sensory processing disorder, which has some similarities to autism), and there are so many aspects of Life Hacks for a Little Alien that resonated with me. Even if I weren’t so interested in sci-fi, the latent, never-ending feeling that you’re from another planet never fades, and the latent alienation that exists in everyday life was depicted with such authenticity and heart. Beyond that, what was depicted most accurately to me was the lingering sense of “I’m doing what the other kids are doing, so why am I wrong/why are they laughing at me/what about what I did makes it wrong?” Neurotypical society is so full of idiosyncrasies, and being neurodivergent makes you realize that from an uncomfortably young age. The narrator’s struggles with picking it apart were delivered with such sensitivity and accuracy, and I loved that her special interest in linguistics and the Voynich Manuscript was not just something that made her fall in love with learning again, but also became a survival mechanism for her to navigate a complicated world.
Beyond that, the use of the Voynich Manuscript and linguistics as a metaphor for the narrator’s experience was easily the most poignant part of a very poignant novel. Many neurodivergent people of various diagnoses often express the feeling that they were never given the same “script” as neurotypical people, a feeling I’ve often shared; if anything, we were basically given a kind of indecipherable Voynich Manuscript that the author understands perfectly, but nobody else does. The narrator’s theory by the end of the novel is that it functions as a way to help aliens navigate Earth, but what is unspoken is that she sees it as such too—she feels like the alien that has been given an indecipherable code with strange pictures in order to understand a completely foreign world. You can see how that hit me in the gut instantly…and it goes even further. English linguistics are full of similar idiosyncrasies as the neurotypical world, and you’re expected to go along with them all the same, even though they frequent contradict all manner of rules. The narrator’s interest in linguistics becomes her way of understanding—or failing to understand—the world. It’s such a beautiful, multilayered metaphor, and it struck such a resonant chord within me.
I have almost no criticisms of Life Hacks for a Little Alien, and I might’ve given it 4.75 or 5 stars if not for this one aspect. My only real problem with Life Hacks for a Little Alien is that it just…ended. Although the epilogue wrapped things up in a more satisfactory and clean manner, the real ending just…ended. For such a meticulous book, it was jarring to end in such an abrupt place. Even though we got some sort of resolution, Life Hacks for a Little Alien seemed to just plunk itself down and end unceremoniously. I’m fine with some books having neatly wrapped-up endings, but this novel seemed to need some semblance of one. I fully expected another chapter afterwards. However, I can sort of see how it might function—this isn’t necessarily the end of the narrator’s story, and her life was far from over by this point. Yet it felt like the end of this arc and the beginning of a new chapter in her life, which seems to necessitate some more closure.
All in all, a deeply poignant and beautiful meditation on neurodivergent girlhood and navigating alien worlds. 4.5 stars!
Life Hacks for a Little Alien is a standalone and Alice Franklin’s debut novel.
Today’s song:
there we go, here’s something for pride!
That’s it for this week’s Book Review Tuesday! Have a wonderful rest of your day, and take care of yourselves!
Happy Sunday, bibliophiles, and more importantly, Happy Father’s Day!! I always end up writing one of these posts on Father’s Day, what with it landing on a Sunday and all, but it’s fitting, given that my amazing dad is the one who not only is responsible for a lot of my music taste, but was also the one to encourage me to write these posts and wanted to hear my thoughts. So thank you to him, for all of the gifts he’s given to me, and to my family. I love you. 🩵
This week: before I go radio silent for a week for a road trip, how about a random kick in the pants from 2019? Plus, new Cate Le Bon, old(ish) Shins, and others.
Chances are, given my proclivities for Car Seat Headrest and other like lo-fi, awkward white boys, I probably would’ve stumbled upon The Unicorns eventually. It was an inevitability. Either way, I was introduced to it via Black Country, New Road’s episode of What’s In My Bag?, and I can’t call it much else other than a delight in the many times that I’ve listened to it since. “Jellybones” is a whimsical title as it is, but the rest of the song stays true to that silliness, complete with bone-related puns (“Drove up in my bone-ca-marrow,” ba-dum tsss); the entire song revolves around jellybones (an obscure sort of expression for nervousness) being a genuine malady worthy of going to the hospital and getting limbs amputated for. Everything has a juddering, garagey sound to it, from the engine-like startup to the guitars to the keyboards, which the intro warps into the sounds I feel like I’d hear aboard a clunky, malfunctioning spaceship on the cover of a ’50’s pulp magazine. 2:43 feels simultaneously too short and the perfect length for “Jellybones”—I need more, and yet this song could only ever be a sputtering little firecracker, spurting out sparks and then gently slipping out of existence.
…AND A BOOK TO GO WITH IT:
Madman Comics Yearbook ’95 – Mike Allred – Jellybones definitely seems like it could be a genuine illness in the Madman universe. (Least wacky Dr. Boiffard subplot, maybe?) Either way, the lyrics definitely fit with the kind of silliness in these comics.
Getting the one-two punch (positive) of new Big Thief (to be discussed) and Cate Le Bon on the same day was almost too much…and just when I thought that we were finished with all of my most anticipated albums of the year! Cate Le Bon’s new album, Michelangelo Dying, comes out this September, and suffice to say, if it’s anything like this song, I’m all ears.
Taking cues from the synth-heavy sound of Pompeii, “Heaven Is No Feeling” opens with an intro too good for a track that’s right in the middle of the album: a murmur of “What does she want?” before launching into a flurry of rippling, watery synths and guitars slathered in enough effects to make them camouflage with the synths. In line with her very ’80s sound, there’s plenty of saxophone, but not enough that it overpowers any of the rest of the song. Gently groovy and keenly observational, Le Bon takes the position of a wallflower: there is a kind of emotional distance to it as she watches the subjects as they move like pawns across a chessboard: “I see you watch yourself/Walk the room/Stroking the air/Like this paint won’t dry.” As she observes the distant fallout of a failed love, the song feels like she’s watching someone through security camera footage, pretending to be distanced when she hasn’t fully gotten over the wreckage—much like the music video, where a buzzcutted Le Bon watches herself on an old TV. Every repetition of “I see you watch me” feels like a degree of separation from the body and from her feelings (surely that’ll end well…), and “heaven is no feeling” becomes a kind of blissful removal from one’s own emotions.
Santigold, man. Nobody’s doing it like her. I often think of 99 Cents as being one of the only happy albums of 2016, but next to Blackstar, A Moon-Shaped Pool, and Teens of Denial, anything looks happy. But what makes me keep coming back to songs from 99 Cents is how she used the veneer of happy, bubblegum pop songs to further her message—they remain peppy pop songs, but they’re all armed with critiques about consumerism and the music industry. Santigold has often talked about her negative experiences in the music industry, whether it’s how unaccommodating the industry is to mothers, especially where touring is concerned, or how her music did not qualify to some critics as “Black music.” Despite how candid she’s been about the physical and mental toll it’s taken on her, Santigold has only used that to become even moreherself than ever. Her last album, Spirituals, went fully into Afrofuturism and current politics, and she’s expanded her creativity into a podcast, Noble Champions, where she brings guests to talk about everything from said nebulous category of “Black music” to social media addiction. (From the episodes I’ve intermittently listened to, she’s also had a whole host of amazing guests, including Yasiin Bey, Questlove, Tunde Adebimpe, Mary Annaïse Heglar, and so many more. The only problem is that there’s not more Santigold, frankly.) I saw her perform live last August, and it’s one of the only concerts I can think of where a singer has been truly kind and candid with her audience; decades in the industry didn’t stop her from signing people’s records in between songs.
Like the album cover, where Santigold is shrink-wrapped and slapped with a price tag along with all manner of plastic junk, “Chasing Shadows” reckons with the human toll of commodifying artists. Contrary to Pitchfork’s assessment that the song “basically plods along inoffensively until it ends” (I’m sorry, the fuck?), it’s one of the more steadfast songs on the album, still fast-paced but providing a cooldown between some of the more in-your-face pop songs. Rostam Batmanglij (formerly of Vampire Weekend) produced the track, and knowing that, I can hear him all over the beat—I say this affectionately, but it’s the most 2016 pairing ever. I love it. Through rapidly-uttered lyrics, Santigold reflects on how quickly the industry moves on so quickly from artists once they’re out of fashion, summarized by one of the finals the second verse: “Why they eating they idols up now/Why they eating they idols up, dammit?” Reflecting on seemingly being left behind, her solution, as always, is to defy the standard, continuing to do what she’s doing. The video mirrors this back: she asserts herself in multiple places inside various houses: at the head of a table at a decadent Christmas feast, standing upright and fully clothed in a bathtub, and towering over a child-sized table with a child-sized tea set. No matter the location, she stands firm, defiantly staring the camera, returning the gaze—of the music industry who tried to put her in a box, to racist and misogynist detractors, or to anyone who has ever doubted her. No matter what, she’s looking directly at you, as though to cement her irreplaceable space of individuality that she’s created for herself.
…AND A BOOK TO GO WITH IT:
Victories Greater Than Death – Charlie Jane Anders – “One thing about time, it waits for nobody, you told me, isn’t that what they say/Been batting ‘gainst it and getting nowhere, just racin’ got nothing to say to nobody…”
What in the 2019 did my shuffle just pull? I hadn’t even thought of this song in years, and boom, suddenly I’m back in high school art class, diligently obeying the “only one earbud in if you want to listen to music” rule while drawing X-Men fanart because I blew through whatever I was actually assigned. God.
High school…and my first introduction to girlpool through Apple Music. Sure, I’m fully on board with the fact that streaming has harmed musicians more than it has helped them, but for a lot of people, myself included, it opened the floodgates for discovering so many musicians back when I was in high school. girlpool was one of the big ones, prominently soundtracking my sophomore year of high school, from their earlier work on Before the World Was Big (which turns 10 this year, Jesus) to their more current (at the time) What Chaos is Imaginary. Almost six years after I discovered them, girlpool since released one final (disappointing) album, Forgiveness, broken up shortly after, and then…Avery Tucker’s come back with a good solo single, but Harmony Tividad seems to have pulled a Gwen Stefani and now makes pop songs with the most chronically online lyrics you’ve ever heard. How the times have changed. But good for her, I guess? You do you…
Even though girlpool had moved past this inception of their music by the time I got into them, they fit too perfectly into the sad, acoustic indie that comprised most of my music taste, and still kinda does today. “Cut Your Bangs” is a cover, but to this day, it remains one of the best parts of this inception of girlpool. In contrast to the faster, more rock sound of the original by Radiator Hospital, girlpool take the chorus’ ending of “the small stuff” literally, slowing it to a crawl in order to wring the most out of the quietly introspective lyrics. I remember not liking the original when I first heard it, and on reflection, I don’t hate it, but I still think it’s a situation where girlpool knew exactly what to do with it. All of the lyrics need a gentler space to breathe, and the twin harmonies of Tividad and Tucker make them stand out. To this day, the way their voices know exactly which lyrics need a plaintive murmur and which ones need a higher-pitched belt feels almost telepathic—at their best, what made girlpool so successful is that they had such an instantaneous communication that allowed them to switch from gentle to jagged in the blink of an eye, but never once lose their synchronicity.
…AND A BOOK TO GO WITH IT:
Some Girls Do – Jennifer Dugan – “You say you’ll cut your bangs, I’m calling your bluff/When you lie to me, it’s in the small stuff…”
James Mercer just has such a unique way with words. As music history (and my personal music library) proves, there’s practically a million ways to say a sentiment along the lines of “I’m dissatisfied with my life and it’s cold and wet outside and I’m also depressed.” Mercer saw that and gave us these iconic lines:
“A cold and wet November dawn/And there are no barking sparrows/Just emptiness to dwell upon/I fell into a winter slide/And ended up the kind of kid who goes down chutes too narrow…” HE SAID THE LINE! GUYS, HE SAID THE LINE! CHUTES TOO NARROW!
Said barking sparrows came back to me completely at random, in the way that especially sharp lyrics or melodies do. Although Mercer’s narrator envies the “eloquent young pilgrims” passing by him, I struggle to find words other than eloquent to describe how he articulates such a near-universal feeling, a mess of regret and stagnation and the emptiness that comes with control slipping through your fingers and wanting to regain it. In a simple duet of acoustic and electric guitars, Mercer wrings some absolute poetry out of such a stagnant state, drawing every possible image from ice melting on a train window and the desire to “grab the yoke from the pilot and just/fly the whole mess into the sea.” I love a good literary-minded songwriter, which I guess it’s no surprise that I latched onto The Shins from such a young age. But with age, I appreciate the lyrics even more—James Mercer is one of those songwriters who prove that, at its best, music is eloquent poetry set to music. It doesn’t need to be (and rarely is), but when it hits that spot, I can’t help but relish it.
…AND A BOOK TO GO WITH IT:
Hammajang Luck – Makana Yamamoto – “But I learned fast how to keep my head up, ’cause I/Know there is this side of me that/Wants to grab the yoke from the pilot, and just/Fly the whole mess into the sea…”
Since this post consists entirely of songs, consider all of them to be today’s song.
That’s it for this week’s Sunday Songs! Have a wonderful rest of your day, and take care of yourselves!
I found this novel in an Instagram post about upcoming queer releases in 2025, and this one immediately caught my eye. You put a comparison to The Shape of Water in the tagline, and you bet I’m in. (If anything, it’s right between The Shape of Water and Nightmare Alley, given the setting.) Venessa Vida Kelley has delivered a vibrant and sensitive story of queer love and solidarity amongst weirdos.
Orphaned and far from his homeland of Puerto Rico, Benny Caldera makes a living as an ironworker in 1910’s New York City, barely scraping together enough to stay afloat and out of reach of the taunts of his white coworkers. But when Sam Morgan, the owner of a sideshow, notices his handiwork, he commissions a strange project for him: a tank whose contents are unknown to him. Benny takes the opportunity for a new job, and finds an unexpected family in the sideshow’s performers. He soon finds out that the tank holds an impossible marvel: a captured merman. As Benny gains the merman’s trust, he finds himself drawn to him—and the merman to him. But when Morgan’s abuse to the merman turns deadly and the sideshow begins to crumble, it’s up to Benny to hatch a plan to save them all.
TW/CW: racism, homophobia, abuse (emotional and physical), violence, blood, ableism, xenophobia, mentions of sexual assault (off-page)
art by Venessa Vida Kelley
I may be a somewhat critical consumer, but listen…you dangle a comparison to The Shape of Water in front of me like a carrot, and goddamnit, I’m eating it right up. God forbid that a weird girlie such as myself consume even more media about found family, fish people, and the nature of marginalization!! That being said, nothing comes close to The Shape of Water, but that’s not the book’s fault. When the Tides Held the Moon is a beautiful novel in all of its parts.
When the TidesHeld the Moon boasts a vibrant cast of characters, and it really felt like a feat for Kelley to balance all of them and still give them unique and complementary personalities. Besides Benny and Río, the cast is mostly rounded out by the fellow performers in the sideshow, of which there are many. Yet out of the nine (I think?) primary side characters, none of them ever felt like an afterthought. Each of them were not only rounded out, but had such thoughtfully planned interactions with all of the other characters—sometimes clashing, and sometimes meshing perfectly. There were individual romances and special friendships between the nine of them, but they were a shining example of found family done well. Despite their individual differences, their solidarity and kinship shone through on the page, making for a narrative that had no shortage of tenderness and heart.
The romance between Benny and Río shone in When the Tides Held the Moon. There was such a tenderness to both of them that gave the novel so much of its heart. I’m always a sucker for narratives about two outsiders falling in love, but I love the ways that their separate senses of outsiderness intertwined; they shared music, stories, and tales of their respective homelands. The slow burn romance was paced well, and never felt rushed. I do feel like the ending was a tad bit too close to The Shape of Water, without spoiling anything, but I think their individual way of solidifying their romantic relationship at the end of the novel separated itself enough in the end, making for a resonant, vibrant end to the novel and to their respective arcs. It was all just so wonderfully sweet, but never in a way that felt insincere or cloying—I just loved them!
When the Tides Held the Moon is an incredibly diverse novel, which was exactly how it should’ve been; even without nearly as much knowledge as Kelley has (this was a very well-researched novel and it shows), it would’ve been a disservice to show either New York City or the culture of sideshows as places that don’t have a history of diversity. Immigrants from many different countries (Puerto Rico, Ireland, India, and Russia to name a few) are at the forefront, as well as lots of queer people, disabled people, people of color, and people who overlap within these intersections. However, some novels have a tendency to have a very 21st century view of all of these things. When the Tides Held the Moon felt very historically sensitive in terms of the language it used around these characters, but not in a way that was sanitized. In fact, it didn’t hold back from depicting the kinds of horrific oppression that these characters faced. Yet it wasn’t straight-up trauma porn either—it was honest about the struggles marginalized people faced during this time period, but never in a way that felt like their trauma was being exploited for emotion. That emotion shone through naturally in the interactions that the characters had and the solidarity they fostered in the face of mutual oppression.
That being said, the major thing keeping When the Tides Held the Moon was some of the writing, particularly the dialogue writing. Even from someone with a fairly high tolerance for bombastic, dramatic dialogue (I love Ray Bradbury and the Claremont run of X-Men for similar reasons, if that gives you a good idea of where I’m at), Kelley’s dialogue often bordered on too much. As sensitive and nuanced as everything else about this novel was, the dialogue trended towards excessively cheesy and overdramatic more often than not. Though I adored Río as a character, his voice very much fell into that overly verbose, “wise”-sounding dialogue that you could slap on any fantasy character. Benny in particular had some of that pathetic “aw, gee, mister, gimme a break, why don’tcha” kind of overwritten voice that was in-character at best but almost grating at worst. The side characters had varying degrees of this affliction, but none of them necessarily jump out at me save for the very stereotypically New York mobsters (“he’ll be sleepin’ with the fishes,” etc…wait, there was SUCH a missed opportunity them to say that). The only exception I can think of was Matthias since it was established that it was his genuine personality and not a consequence of the writing. If this were any other novel, I would’ve tolerated this much less, but Kelley’s story had so much heart that I could partially let it slide…but not all the way.
All in all, a beautiful, sensitive novel about love and marginalization with a big heart. 4 stars!
When the Tides Held the Moon is a standalone and Kelley’s debut novel. She is also the author of the forthcoming graphic novel Manu Faces the Music, which is set to be released in 2026.
Today’s song:
That’s it for this week’s Book Review Tuesday! Have a wonderful rest of your day, and take care of yourselves!
THEY’RE BACK!! Well, mary in the junkyard haven’t been gone for long, but nonetheless, I’m always excited about whatever new music they’ve got going. In fact, they’ve already had a fruitful year: a great feature on Richard Russell is Temporary, a shoutout on 2D’s Gorillaz G Mix 22, and a spot as one of the opening acts on Wet Leg’s UK and North American tours. I can only hope that their debut album is in the near future, but for now, they finally seem to be on the way to getting the attention they deserve!
“drains” continues the trajectory of their debut EP, this old house, which contained four songs full of ghosts, flies, rot, and angst dug out of the graveyard, living up to the description in their Instagram bio as “angry weepy chaos rock.” This time, the grime and goop they’re examining comes from the sewer; in the great music video, it’s personified as a tiny little clay creature that really does look quite innocent, but ends up wreaking some accidental havoc. With electric guitars that ring in a strangely plaintive way, “drains” stumbles about, written in a frustrated daze as the narrator struggles to put names to feelings—and to how her lover makes her feel. Not good, if the lyrics are any indication, and yet “drains” gets scratchier and more jagged as the truth becomes ever more apparent that they’re trapped in this cycle with them: “But if you bury yourself, I will dig you out again/That’s what lovers do/If you hurt yourself, I will take you under my wing/I’m your lover and I’m loving you.” Culminating in an exorcism of a scream, the chaos of the frustration is finally let loose and given form, like the clay critter clambering through the grime-coated pipes.
Damn…Medúlla has me feeling all kinds of things. It was next in line in my scattered Björk deep-dive and I was highly anticipating it after Björk’s episode about it on Sonic Symbolism. I listened to it while knitting a scarf, and I thought of everything she described about the album, about prehistory and family and sitting around the fire and braids and ropes and weaving…and that hit me while I was knitting, doing the same activities that my ancestors, namely women, have done for thousands of years before me, and, and, and…yeah. Medúlla is very nearly a no-skip album (“Submarine” wasn’t my favorite). It’s one of those albums where you feel a pit opening in your stomach, but it seems to be opening up room for the energy to integrate itself into you. A good Björk album does that to a gal. And so many people think this is her worst album because it’s inaccessible? Sure, maybe her first three albums are more accessible (relatively), but do you really listen to Björk for accessible music?
I kind of agonized over which song I’d pick for this week (because you will be hearing more), but between this, “Who Is It (Carry My Joy on the Left, Carry My Pain on the Right)”, and “Desired Constellation,” this was the winner. Originally composed on pianos before Björk realized the sound she envisioned weren’t possible on pianos, “Oceania” imagines the all-encompassing consciousness of the ocean. Connecting the ocean to the album’s larger theme of motherhood is a no-brainer, because who was the mother of every life-form on the planet? Taking the nurturing spirit to the personal to the universal, Björk embodies an ocean full of love, but namely full of pride: “You have done good for yourselves/Since you left my wet embrace/And crawled ashore.” Despite her all-encompassing knowledge and reach (“You count centuries/I blink my eyes”), she retains an eye on every organism that has emerged from her waters, nurturing all of them and reminding them of where they came from; as the vocals temporarily drop out, she reminds us of the connection we all have: “Your sweat is salty/I am why.” AAAAUGH, excuse me for a moment…sorry, I just get overexcited about the wonder about how everything on Earth is intimately connected and that denying it is the root of pretty much every problem we have today…but what a song. Composed entirely of the human voice, a choir creates a rising chorus that seems to bubble to the surface like the trails made by dolphins as they race through the water. The ethereal clicks and hums compose a melody that really does feel primal, glittering as light dappling across the surface of the sea. Leave it to Björk to get so close to how water feels, in both the calmness of it enveloping your body and the delicate movements of invertebrates as they drift through the waves. I can hear both plankton and megafauna, all cradled in the arms of Mother Oceania.
The Mountain in the Sea – Ray Nayler – unexpected connections between the most intelligent creatures on land and the most intelligent creatures in the sea.
The last time I talked about Wet Leg, I mentioned that, as much as I like them, they’ve only written about two, three songs tops. I was expecting about the same from “CPR,” and…they delivered. I say this with affection, because I mostly like this song, but they pretty much have every lyrical cliche in the book. Usually, they’ve got at least one little quirk that’s wryly funny against the normalcy of the other lyrics. This one has [checks notes] calling 911—sorry, 999, forgot that I’m in the colonies—because you’re in love. I feel a little mean saying that, but they’ve usually got something more. But for the most part, Wet Leg aren’t necessarily about the lyrics for me. The reason that “CPR” succeeds is all in the delivery—Rhian Teasdale’s sultry spoken word and the growling guitars in the background, mixed with siren-like synths make it worth listening to over and over. There’s a Britpop callback to their whole sound on this song (it feels both ’90s and a bit “St. Charles Square” to me), and listen, if there’s anything I’m always here for, it’s Graham Coxon-sounding guitars. Along with the creeping bassline, “CPR” is a hooky song on its own, but as the opening to moisturizer, I’m interested to see the direction it goes in, a trajectory that Teasdale speak-sings of, propelling herself off a cliff and into the unknown.
…AND A BOOK TO GO WITH IT:
A Tempest of Tea – Hafsah Faizal – “Try to run/Head for the hills/If you’re a ghost, then oh my God/How can you give me the chills?”
It feels so strange that I’ve only sparingly talked about Snail Mail on these posts since she’s played such a critical part in my musical lineage. I discovered her at the tail end of 8th grade, and through that weird summer before high school where I was questioning my sexuality, I listened to Lush, it became a favorite of mine, and I even met Lindsey Jordan after a show at the tiniest little club. She thought I was in college, somehow…I was 14. I left that show with the guitar pick she’d given me, a desire to pick up the guitar, and a bit more starstruck courage to come out. I followed her on another tour in my sophomore year of college, and caught her touring for Valentine a few years after.
I guess the part she plays in my life now is diminished since she hasn’t done a whole lot album-wise in almost four years. Other than that, though, she has technically done a lot: an EP of Valentine demos, an acting role in I Saw the TV Glow (that I still haven’t seen…oops), a Smashing Pumpkins cover, and a gig singing with Weezer back in 2023. One of the more recent singles she’s done is another cover—this time, a reworked version of This Is Lorelei (the solo project of Nate Amos from Water From Your Eyes)’s “Two Legs.” She’s switched up the key and added a sprinkling of Lush-sounding guitar flourishes. Since her vocal surgery several years ago, Jordan’s seemed to struggle with fitting her older catalogue into a reasonable range for her. But the easygoing tones of “Two Legs,” with its gentle twang and tenderly spoken lyrics are a sweetly comfortable fit for her. I doubt this is indicative of whatever new direction she’s taking, but this reworking was almost made for her.
Gwen & Art Are Not in Love – Lex Croucher – “If you said you wanted two weeks/You know I’d give you nine/And they’d be yours and mine/Ain’t nothing gonna make us cry, we will not cry, love/If it made life easy for you, I would say goodbye/And love, if you said you needed two legs/I’d give you mine…”
I didn’t line this song up for pride month, but I might as well talk about it since it came back to me, in the way that a classic always does.
“Girls will be boys and boys will be girls/It’s a mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world/Except for Lola.”
It still blows me away that this was a hit song all the way back in 1970. Of course, it wasn’t without controversy, but to have a band put out something so blatantly queer on the airwaves that long ago never ceases to amaze me. I can only imagine the reaction of some uptight conservatives listening to the radio when “Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man/But I know what I am in the bed, I’m a man/And so was Lola” came on. Pearl-clutching ensues. “Lola” wasn’t the first queer song of its kind, but what stands out to me is that Ray Davies never once makes a joke out of Lola; there’s been some speculation over the years about whether Lola is/was inspired by a drag queen or a transgender woman (Davies later confirmed the latter), but either way, it details the protagonist falling in love with a woman, getting confused about why she “walk[s] like a woman and talk[s] like a man,” and realizing the truth about her identity. Although the protagonist does express a great deal of shock, he doesn’t outright disrespect Lola or make her the butt of a joke—he just accepts that the world is weird and variable, and that it’s fine for Lola to be who she is.
Perhaps it was because The Kinks were a relatively popular, mainstream, and notably heterosexual band that they were able to get a queer message on the air easier than other artists. For me, that doesn’t diminish the effect that “Lola” has and continues to have, given how maligned queer people—especially trans people—were at the time, and continue to be today. They could’ve just as easily made a fool out of Lola, but in this situation, it’s the sheltered, inexperienced protagonist that gets a laugh out of the audience. Lola’s not overly fetishized, either—she’s described as being attractive and sensual, but she’s not an outright sex object. Sure, some of the language is outdated (namely that Lola is still referred to as a “man” even though she’s likely a trans woman), but this is 1970 we’re talking about, of course the language isn’t going to be completely analogous to 2025. None of it comes off maliciously—it was just the language they had to work with at the time, and all of it was just to say that Lola, a trans woman at the margins of society, was deserving of love. Radical concept, eh?
Here’s a continuation of my recent sci-fi mood…I’ve been looking to add more sci-fi to my TBR, because I seem to exhaust my supply faster than I can keep up. The premise of The Death I Gave Him being a queer, sci-fi/thriller retelling of Hamlet enticed me, but sadly, this novel didn’t deliver—not on the retelling front, and not entirely on the thriller part either.
Hayden Lichfield is intent on carrying out the mission that his father is pioneering—the Sisyphus Formula, a substance that could one day reverse death itself. Enticed by immortality and down on his luck, Hayden throws himself into his work. But when his father is found murdered in Elsinore Labs, Hayden has no idea who to turn to—and who wanted to murder the man who wanted to beat death. Trapped in his room with only his AI, Horatio, to trust, Hayden scrambles for answers, and everyone around him is a suspect. But is it not just Hayden’s friends, but his father that have been lying to him all along?
TW/CW: murder, blood, descriptions of injury, suicidal ideation, grief, death of a parent
Trying to describe whether or not The Death I Gave Him qualifies as a retelling feels like the Ship of Theseus. If all of your characters’ names allude to Hamlet and you set your story in Denmark, but not much else relates to Hamlet, is it still a Hamlet retelling? How much Hamlet does one need to remove for it to still feel like a retelling? Sadly, Em X. Liu is proof that there is a limit to how much you can remove before it stops feeling like a retelling. It’s Hamlet in name only.
Having read Hamlet less than a year ago, I went into The Death I Gave Him with a fairly fresh memory. However, if not for the more obvious name changes (Hamlet becomes Hayden, Polonius becomes Paul, etc.) and the fact that it’s set in Denmark, I really wouldn’t have thought that this was a Hamlet retelling. I’m fine with loose retellings, but I don’t think it should’ve been billed as such. The whole Denmark setting definitely felt like very a “see? This is Hamlet, I promise!” move and wasn’t relevant to the plot whatsoever. I’m fine with loose retellings, but I feel like the similarities end with what I just described above. I’m not sure if this even qualifies as a retelling so much as people named after characters in Hamlet. Also, none of these people were nearly crazy enough to be in a Hamlet retelling. You’ve got to have someone go at least a little insane to have a proper Hamlet retelling. Hayden got a wee bit depressed and existential towards the end, but there wasn’t nearly enough “something is rotten in the state of Denmark” insanity to make it feel like a true tribute to Shakespeare. It just felt like a rather emotionally stunted novel even though it’s based off of something so dramatic. Some tonal liberties are inevitable for any given adaptation, but these ones just didn’t feel true to Hamlet, which made the more obvious Hamlet references feel more like preventative measures to make sure that people remembered that this was a Hamlet retelling.
Having mixed formats (interview excerpts, security camera footage, etc.) can be a great tool to add some additional context—and a unique flavor—to a novel, and I think it works especially well with thrillers, which The Death I Gave Him partially was. However, I don’t think Liu properly executed this format. Granted, it’s difficult to pull off, but when it’s executed well, it adds another layer of mystery to what is hopefully another layer of mystery. The problem Liu seemed to have is that, with the exception of the security camera footage, all of the other perspectives sounded exactly the same. All of the interviews, document excerpts, and “fictional” interludes by Horatio were in the same tense and the same POV, which basically rendered the format useless. Beyond that, these interviews and whatnot were from multiple people, but they all had virtually the same narrative voice. By the end of the novel, it didn’t even matter where the excerpts were coming from—they all sounded the same. If you’re going to pull off this kind of format, you have to make each component sound unique—if everything sounds the same, what’s the point in specifying which chapter is an interview and which one is a fictional account?
Also, none of the characters seemed to have much of a purpose outside of being props, aside from Hayden, Horatio, and maybe Felicia if I’ve being generous. Even though we get a significant portion of the novel through her interviews and written segments, I never even got a specific read on her voice since it was so similar to every other character’s. Paul, Rasmussen, and Charles were just there until they conveniently weren’t. The timeless fun of Hamlet comes from seeing everybody scheming against each other and different motives clashing against each other, but everybody was just rendered into very similar characters with too similar motives to each other for the mystery to really be worth it.
The same was true of the plot. I was committed to The Death I Gave Him because I was excited by the premise and wanted to see how the plot unfolded. I will say that Liu did a great job of setting the scene and cramming us in said locked room of this locked-room mystery. However, very little happened in said locked room—other than a handful of scattered moments, the place was quite slow, and the ratio of information that was revealed to the amount of pages it correlated to was way off—it felt like we only got significant revelations every 100 pages, and The Death I Gave Him is a little over 300 pages. There needed to be much more intrigue and complicating factors and clashing motives for this novel to work as a mystery; what we had was quite lackluster.
All in all, a sci-fi retelling of Hamlet that missed the mark on its source material and its new plot. 2 stars.
The Death I Gave Him is a standalone, but Em X. Liu is also the author of the novella If Found, Return to Hell and several short stories in various anthologies and magazines.
Today’s song:
That’s it for this week’s Book Review Tuesday! Have a wonderful rest of your day, and take care of yourselves!
Here in the U.S., June is Pride Month! I usually start off these posts with something about how the world is slowly getting kinder to queer people, but that, as always, the shadows of homophobia and transphobia loom large. Well…Christ, it sure is looming larger than ever. Misinformed voters have decided that they’re perfectly content to return us to an administration that has already required passports to revert to the carrier’s assigned gender at birth and has been emboldened to toy with the idea of repealing the right to same-sex marriage. Of course, here I am sitting on my comfy couch in my comfy blue state of Colorado that thankfully has a) a gay governor (shoutout to Jared Polis), and b) enshrined the right to same-sex marriage in the constitution, but that doesn’t mean that my heart doesn’t constantly ache. All of us in the queer community are deeply interconnected. What hurts one of us hurts all of us.
Book banning across the country has disproportionately targeted queer books, deeming the presence of such subjects in children’s, middle grade, and YA literature as pornography and grooming. And god forbid that a drag queen commits the incredibly sexual and predatory act of…[checks notes] reading picture books to kids at libraries. Republicans have their priorities twisted. That’s old, old news by now. Books and libraries were never meant to be war zones, but fascists have made it their mission, then and now, to declare the right to information and new ideas as the most dangerous threat to their power. This goes for books both queer and non-queer. But the power of queer books can’t be overstated. Even I, who grew up in an incredibly supportive, accepting environment (biggest thank you imaginable to my wonderful family for being that way), was enlightened and comforted when, in the short period when I was closeted, I found bisexual characters in books that reflected my story and my feelings. Queer literature is revelatory, and it saves lives. For queer people, it gives them the comfort that they aren’t alone. For others, it gives them a glimpse into perspectives that they might not have otherwise considered, and compels them to empathize with people who are different than them.
So this pride month, and all year round (as always), when you think of what you can do to support the LGBTQ+ community, consider picking up a book. Support queer authors. Buy from queer-owned bookstores, because they tend to be pretty cool places. Support your local library (because they need it now more than ever)—checking out queer books shows them that they’re in demand, and that encourages librarians to keep on shelving them. For us book bloggers and other social media-oriented folks: keep on reviewing and shouting out books. And for all of us: no president, no government, and no legislation can take away your queerness. No one has that power but you. Your queerness is revolutionary and beautiful. Keep on being queer.
So here is my annual list of great LGBTQ+ reads from all sorts of genres, backgrounds, and identities. If I’ve mistakenly identified something about a book’s representation, please let me know! I’ve mixed YA and Adult books here, and I’ve also added a nonfiction section for the first time, as I’ve done with my other recommendation lists.
TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! Have you read any of these books, and if so, what did you think of them? What are some of your favorite queer books that you’ve read recently? Let me know in the comments!
Today’s song:
lindsey…please tell me this is a sign that you’re cooking something…
That’s it for this year’s pride recommendations! Have a wonderful rest of your day, and take care of yourselves!
The Bookish Mutant 