The Actual Star – The Bookish Mutant

Happy Thursday, bibliophiles!

This is a scheduled post, so I’ll be going back into my gopher hole for at least another week (or thereabouts), but one thing about me is that I love to categorize and wrap things up, in spite of it all…

Let’s begin, shall we?

GENERAL THOUGHTS:

I’ve been in the weeds of finals for the past few weeks, and I only just submitted my last final. Which also happened to be my last final…and the last assignment I’ll ever submit for undergrad. Jesus. I graduate college tomorrow (!!!), and I’ll continue to be busy, so expect that I’ll be radio silent for at least another week, with the exception of one other scheduled post aside from this one.

As you could probably gather from the amount of times I randomly dropped off the face of ~~the Earth~~ this blog, March and April have been very busy for me. It’s been a time. In late March, I defended my honors thesis, which was nothing short of nerve-wracking. But it was worth it—guess who’s graduating summa cum laude?? After that, I barely even considered that there would even be a semester after my honors thesis, since working on it swallowed up most of my semester. Of course, I only had a week or two before finals swallowed everything, but such is life. And college.

And now I’m about to graduate. What people don’t tell you about college is that, aside from graduation, there’s no real fanfare for the end of college. I just had a single, completely uneventful class on Thursday afternoon, and then I was just…done. With undergrad. Four years, all culminating in some random class I only took for the upper-division elective credit. You expect it to end with firecrackers and confetti and not just shuffling out of class and taking the bus home, but that’s the way things go sometimes. Sometimes things just end. And that’s okay. But maybe it’s fitting, in a way. I spent so much of my life being petrified at even the thought of going to college and being away from my parents. There was so much catastrophizing in the years and months leading up to college. But it ended so quietly, so ordinarily. In the end, it was uneventful, and it was all fine. Well, more than fine, I’d say. I came away with a GPA that wasn’t too shabby, so many wonderful friends, a ton of new experiences that I’ve braved…not to mention that summa cum laude I mentioned!! Come on!

So maybe it’s for the best that things end quietly. I can look back and be at peace, knowing that everything I struggled through was worth it, and hardly anything turns out as badly as your anxieties make it out to be. About a month back, one of my best friends introduced me to Rilo Kiley’s song “A Better Son/Daughter,” which…first off, you know who you are, and that was diabolical to do that to me right before graduation. Dastardly, even. OW. But I find myself drawn to it again and again, knowing some of the lows I’ve experienced recently in college (and in life), and that I came out the other side a more independent, self-assured, and hopefully more whole person. I sure feel better, knowing that I’ve made it to this point in spite of it all. So thank you, said friend, for bringing that song into my life.

MARCH READING WRAP-UP:

I read 13 books in March! Unfortunately, I had my first DNF of the year (I gave it an extra star because there were a few good ideas in it, but overall, Pleasure Activism got on my nerves and life is short), but aside from that, I had an excellent reading month! I focused on books by women for Women’s History Month, and I had a blast with new-to-me authors, longtime favorites, and treasured re-reads.

2 – 2.75 stars:

Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good – adrienne maree brown (anthology) (DNF – ⭐️⭐️)
The Lightest Object in the Universe – Kimi Eisele (⭐️⭐️)

3 – 3.75 stars:

Thrill of the Chase – Kathryn Nolan (⭐️⭐️⭐️.25)
Who Fears Death (Who Fears Death, #1) – Nnedi Okorafor (⭐️⭐️⭐️.5)
Greenteeth – Molly O’Neill (⭐️⭐️⭐️.5)
She and Her Cat – Makoto Shinkai and Naruki Nagakawa (translated by Ginny Tapley Takemori) (⭐️⭐️⭐️.5)
The Actual Star – Monica Byrne (⭐️⭐️⭐️.75)

4 – 4.75 stars:

Red Star Rebels – Amie Kaufman (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)
A Place at the Nayarit: How a Mexican Restaurant Nourished a Community – Natalia Molina (for school) (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)
To Ride a Rising Storm (Nampeshiweisit, #2) – Moniquill Blackgoose (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)
Black Disability Politics – Sami Schalk (for school) (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)
Five Ways to Forgiveness – Ursula K. Le Guin (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5)

5 stars:

The Stardust Grail – Yume Kitasei (re-read) (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

FAVORITE BOOK OF THE MONTH (not counting re-reads): Five Ways to Forgiveness – 4.5 stars

REVIEWS:

SUNDAY SONGS:

BONUS:

The Bookish Mutant’s Feminist Books for Women’s History Month

APRIL READING WRAP-UP:

I read 13 books in April! Ratings-wise, this month was a rollercoaster—I had a 5 star read and my first DNF of the year one after the other (I kid you not), so there have been lots of ups and downs. But most of the books I read came out somewhere above average, so I can’t complain. The ones that were excellent made up for the bad and the mediocre.

1 – 1.75 stars:

Escape Velocity – Victor Manibo (DNF – ⭐️)

3 – 3.75 stars:

How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain – Lisa Feldman Barrett (⭐️⭐️⭐️)
Nightshade and Oak – Molly O’Neill (⭐️⭐️⭐️.25)
According to Plan – Christen Randall (⭐️⭐️⭐️.5)
Networks of Outrage and Hope: Social Movements in the Internet Age – Manuel Castells (for school) (⭐️⭐️⭐️.5)
You Started It – Jackie Khalilieh (⭐️⭐️⭐️.5)
Star Wars: From a Certain Point of View: Return of the Jedi – anthology (⭐️⭐️⭐️.75)
The Serpent Called Mercy – Roanne Lau (⭐️⭐️⭐️.75)

4 – 4.75 stars:

Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot – Mikki Kendall (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)
Giovanni’s Room – James Baldwin (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)
Tall Water – SJ Sindu (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)
Slow Gods – Claire North (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.25)

5 stars:

Tune It Out – Jamie Sumner (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

FAVORITE BOOK OF THE MONTH: Tune It Out – 5 stars

REVIEWS:

SUNDAY SONGS:

BONUS:

The Bookish Mutant’s Books for Autism Acceptance Month (2026 Edition)

Today’s song:

holy fuck, Earthling is phenomenal…I’ve really been feeling that “music meant to be listened to on drugs at the club/me listening to it sober doing the dishes” meme while listening to it while knitting on the bed though 💀

That’s it for this wrap-up! Have a wonderful rest of your day, and take care of yourselves!

Happy Tuesday, bibliophiles! Apologies for the unexplained absence last week—I defended my honors thesis, so I needed some time to prepare (emotionally, if nothing else). But I’m back now, and man, do I have a review for you…

Despite having one of my least favorite animals on the cover (whip scorpions give me the heebie jeebies, sorry), I was intrigued by the millennia-spanning premise of The Actual Star, and it satisfied my eternal hankering for more science fiction. Dizzying in scope, The Actual Star is, without a doubt, an undertaking to read—even though it’s only March, I have no doubt that it’ll be one of the most ambitious books that I’ll read all year.

Enjoy this week’s review!

The Actual Star – Monica Byrne

1012. In the Mayan city of Tzoyna, Ajul and Ixul—a pair of twins descended from the Hero Twins of legend—have ambitions to reclaim a throne that was stolen from them. With their journey foretold by the gods, they will stop at nothing to claim what is rightfully theirs.

2012. Born to a Belizean father and a Mayan mother, Leah has been distanced from her father’s culture all her life. In a snap decision, she decides to venture to Belize to discover her heritage—but the mystical connection she feels to the land may be driving her to extreme decisions.

3012. The last vestiges of humanity cling to a climate-ravaged Earth. Niloux and Tanaaj, rival fanatics, are locked in a power struggle to reclaim their religion, based in ancient Mayan rituals and a mysterious saint named Leah. Their voyages will take them across an unrecognizable globe.

Across thousands of years, the lives of these distant individuals will intertwine in ways that they did not think possible.

TW/CW: self-harm (ritual), terminal illness, sexual content, incest, violence, descriptions of injury, death

To put it bluntly, The Actual Star is a mindfuck. But honestly, few other words could so succinctly put into words how I felt reading this novel. Nothing could’ve prepared me for how dizzyingly layered this novel is. Aside from the three different plots across multiple millennia, you’ve got Mayan mythology, entire sections written in Belizean Kriol, wild visions of Earth in the 31st century, pockets of poetic brilliance interspersed in bloody wrath, and so much more. “Wild ride” doesn’t even begin to describe The Actual Star. But through it all, what kept occurring to me is that Monica Byrne left no stone unturned in terms of weaving these three disparate plots together. There are so many Easter eggs connecting these timelines together, and I’m certain that I missed a ton of them. Each world was rich in narrative and thematic experimentation. It’s one of those novels that sometimes verges on an experience as opposed to a novel, and despite my qualms with it, I can’t fault this novel for being purely, showstoppingly unique.

Even though they were all connected through various through-lines, The Actual Star shone (no pun intended) in terms of the richness of the individual plot lines. While the 1012 Mayan plot was the weakest of the three in my opinion, Byrne clearly researched the time period exhaustively. I loved the 2012 plotline just for the memories of that fleeting moment when so many were convinced that the world would end, but Leah, in all her flaws, was a character I loved following through her development into something close to a (future) saint. But by far, the most entertaining and well-constructed plot was that of the speculative, climate-ravaged 3012. Byrne’s vision of the far future is bizarre, full of idiosyncratic religion, flooded cities, and humanity beyond human, but it was so rich and detailed in its construction that I loved every minute exploring this unrecognizable Earth. Beyond that, I think the power struggle in the 3012 plotline was the most interesting of the three, with the magnetic poles of Niloux and Tanaaj pushing up against each other in strange and unforeseen ways. Bottom line: Byrne did a staggering amount of research for this novel, and it shows.

However, for all of its ambition, I don’t think The Actual Star was able to follow through on all of its promises. Byrne gives us a lot to chew on here. What was most realized for me were the themes about divinity and religion, particularly with the dichotomy of what we see/know (the star) and what truly is (the actual star), a theme that I found quite poignant. For me, it worked with the plot lines of religions and personal beliefs being constructed in real time, as well as what we know the world to be in our deepest heart of hearts. However, I think there were so many thematic threads that were unresolved, even after 620-odd pages. Byrne tries to tackle a lot about the nature of death, sex, and utopia, among other things, but I think this novel was just so overstuffed that the secondary themes were bound to get rotten from sitting too long on the proverbial windowsill. Were Byrne to narrow some of the themes down, it might’ve been a more cohesive effort.

Additionally, what prevented me from enjoying The Actual Star fully was how it depicted some of its more taboo subjects. If you’re going into this novel, what you need to know first and foremost is that all—and I mean all—of the central characters are truly, deeply flawed individuals. To an extent, I really enjoyed this aspect, especially when exploring their different personalities. That being said, there’s a lot of taboo stuff happening in this novel, but I’m not sure Byrne handled it well. To Byrne’s credit, there was at least some grace given to the depictions of self-harm and cutting, but aside from that, the (plentiful) sex was gratuitous and the incest plotline was frankly unnecessary. In the end, it felt more for shock value than anything else, which did not leave the best taste in my mouth.

All in all, a complex web of a novel that boasted an ambitious premise, most of which was paid off—but by a hair, not enough. 3.75 stars!

The Actual Star is a standalone, but Monica Byrne is also the author of The Girl in the Road and Traumphysik.

Today’s song:

it’s finally here…the world finally gets to experience the pure lyrical genius of “I come at a price/like egg fried rice…”

That’s it for this week’s Book Review Tuesday! Have a wonderful rest of your day, and take care of yourselves!

Tag: The Actual Star

Book Review Tuesday (3/31/26) – The Actual Star