stock photos – The Bookish Mutant

Hello there, bibliophiles! (My last brain cell, in a stage whisper: “General Kenobi…”)

And hey, Happy Valentine’s Day! I mean…I’m not a huge fan of all the mushy, capitalist expressions of love (because hey, if that’s what this holiday is all about, then ACT LIKE EVERY DAY IS VALENTINE’S DAY AND LOVE EACH OTHER, DANGIT), but if that’s your thing, hope you’re having a lovely day.

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I’ve been meaning to do this post for a little while, but let me give you a bit of context.

Around two years ago, I made a post rating a bunch of artfully disturbing stock photos that I’d found. The results? Almost every day, without fail, SOMEBODY ALWAYS FINDS IT AGAIN. IT’S GETTING SO MUCH TRAFFIC. SO MUCH.

So this post is partially because I found even more bizarre stock photos, but hey, let’s give the people what they want.

Ah, yes. The ideal pastime for a Sunday afternoon. 7/10 because I’m worried about the repercussions

Not gonna lie, I thought this was 20th Century Fox’s version of Quicksilver for a second there. 6/10 because his head seems abnormally large, and I don’t want to know what Quicksilver intends to do with that banana

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The new style that will sweep the nation in the 2020s: Spaghetti Punk. 9/10 sign me up

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Because chicken makes the world go ’round. 7/10 a beautiful vision of world peace and unity

You see his long-eared shadow creep across the alley wall. The calculator poking out of his pocket glints in the fading light. He outstretches a hand to you, and presents you with an offer: “Perhaps you’d like a cabbage?”

7/10 there’s something shady about this

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Writer’s block, man. 7/10 happens to all of us

And soon, you will learn to embrace the Watermelon Within. 5/10 not much going on other than that, I’m afraid

Well. All I can think of when I look at this is a slew of “we live in a society” jokes. 8/10 we really do live in a society

Today’s song:

Wow, look at me. I used to hate Black Sabbath with a passion (I mean…I liked one of their songs, but refused to admit it…), and now look at me…

Welp. I suppose that wraps it up. I’m sure the internet is overflowing with similar content, so I may make yet another stock photo rating post. In the meantime, have a great rest of your day, and take care of yourselves!

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The other day, my friend and I were talking about the weirdness of stock photos. I’d seen a couple of pretty strange ones before, but I had no idea of the enormity of the amount of weird stock photos out there. So I went on a little spiral, if you will, and googled stock photos. What I found turned out to be the stuff of nightmares. Or maybe more like fever dreams.

Anyway, I decided to find the weirdest photos possible and rate them.

Simultaneously relatable and unnverving in some intangible way. 6/10 because I can kind of feel his confusion and outrage, but it’s also making me kind of uneasy

UNLIMITED POWER. 9/10 because his facial expression is rather disconcerting

This is the most assertive picture I’ve ever come across. The sheer amount of emotion and fervor rolls off of it in waves. *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH* 10/10

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Ma’am…ma’am? Ma’am? Everything okay over there? Ma’am? 8/10

This is the single best thing that the internet has to offer. An elegant force in motion. (Or, alternatively, “makin’ my way downtown…”) 100/10

Corn D E T E C T E D. 9/10 a beautiful vision of the future

This poor man is clearly in denial. Either he’s grieving his hair loss or he’s just hallucinating. 7/10 somebody’s gotta tell him eventually

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“Don’t you just hate that feeling when you’re eating a banana, and it just goes directly through your skull?”–anonymous

7/10 looks pretty painful, I hate that feeling too

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Now this is just disconcerting. His expression is a bit too smug, like he knows that you’ve spent an hour sitting on the toilet and he’s off to tell all of his friends about it. 3/10 get away from me please

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This right here is the definition of my 5th grade biology class. 5/10 because I don’t want to imagine how slimy that chicken is

Now this is life goals. 8/10 because it’s kind of boring otherwise

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You can go anywhere with the power of imagination. 8/10 because I’m kind of worried that he doesn’t have any other clothes on other than that ridiculous hat

Well, I hope you *enjoyed* that disturbing glimpse of how my mind works. I promise that I’ve got some relatively normal posts coming up for you guys soon. Enjoy the rest of your day, and let’s hope that #2 doesn’t come creeping into your room at 3 A.M.